reminiscing – Girl Gone Cuckoo

maternity diary: labor day

When you reach the 38th week, you’re okay to give birth as the baby has fully developed. Although for first pregnancies, you’re advised that child birth would be 2 weeks before or after the 40th week mark, I wanted to give birth as soon as I hit 38th because 1) It was already exhausting and I had to catch my breath every time I move, 2) We were too excited to meet Maddy, 3) Harry is 5’11” and I’m only 5’2″ so that means the longer Maddy stays inside, the bigger she will get and my body (and tummy) is too small for her. Even when every parent prays to have a safe delivery, ideally, it is best to give birth normally and not have to go through a C-section. That was the goal that we set with our OB. We also prayed to have a quick labor. After all, who wants to spend too much time panting and being in pain, right?

Welp, Maddy had different plans. I started having contractions a few days after my 38th week mark, in the middle of preparing decors for my April 22 wedding. We went to the E.R. that same afternoon but was told to go back because I was only dilating at 1cm. We thought it would be quick, to be honest. Like in the movies where they begin having contractions, get rushed to the hospital and tada! a baby! But I reached my 40th week mark and was already overdue for a few days and Maddy still didn’t have plans to come out. Due to my utmost frustration after the doctor told me to come back a week after, Harry and I walked a longer distance right after our doctor’s visit. I took a nap and woke up in pain. My contractions were starting to get painful. This was it! At 5:30PM, we arrived at the hospital and I was placed in the labor room. Maddy could come out at any time!

14 hours later (meaning, it was already 7AM the next day), I was still in the labor room writhing in pain. It was literally the most physically painful experience I ever had in my life! More painful than when I tore my right knee ligament, more painful than when my cervical slip disc worsened, more painful than when my heart got broken in college (LOL!). It was 10x more excruciating than my usually painful menstrual cramps. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that I felt like I was dying. Really! I was being a baby when they finally brought me to the delivery room at almost 10AM and I kept begging my anesthesiologist to give me more epidural. So I pushed for 3 more hours until the doctor said the words we dreaded, “I would have to do a c-section.” Maddy was just not coming out and I was no longer dilating at more than 8cm.

At 3:59PM, after 22 hours of labor, Madison Rue was born. ♥ I kissed her forehead before falling asleep and what they say is really true, no matter how painful your labor was, everything just fades and is easily forgotten the very moment you hear your baby cry or you set sight on the baby’s beautiful eyes or feel their soft skin. It was very true for me. 22 hours just faded when I saw my sweet Madison Rue. She is worth the pain. ♥

blue lace maxi dress, Best Finds Thrift Shop | necklaces and rings, Forever21 and vintage finds

“maternity session at 36 weeks” photography, Marlon Capuyan | hair & make-up, Vanessa Gamus

maternity diary: the last stretch

at this point of my pregnancy, i can finally say that I know how penguins walk. i no longer walked actually, i waddled. tummy first, then right foot and left foot, repeat. my tummy suddenly grew and i was out of breath most of the time. i remember telling my friends Rachael and Amy, “I’m not sure I’ll remember how to walk normally.” LOL

for most pregnant women, the 3rd trimester is the time where most weight is gained and it sure was true for me. all throughout my pregnancy, i gained a total of 18 lbs, most of which i gained during the last 3 months. so for pregnant ladies out there, this is the time to especially watch what you eat. with all the discomfort, it’s very easy to get tempted by comfort food and sweets just to compensate for the difficulty of the last months. i myself am guilty of doing so — Coca-Cola was just so, so, so good especially with lots of ice.

everywhere I went, it was warm and uncomfortable, especially when riding in our car — not just because it’s old but my body was being a walking oven 24/7. even my assistant, Amalia, wouldn’t touch me because i was just too warm. so another tip: stock up on baby powder, especially at night. it helps with the discomfort and wear cotton, thin cotton when going out. sometimes, I fall asleep from the warmth in the afternoon, too tired to care.

the last month is also the time when sleeping gets harder. as it turns out, babies tend to sleep during the day while the mommy is on the move because they feel like being cradled inside and once we’re in bed trying to sleep, that’s the time they wake up and start moving. so yeah, Maddy was a night owl (a cute night owl!) and would keep me up all night, kicking and moving inside my tummy until 4AM. but you know what? even when Maddy kept me awake, the last month was the best because i could really feel her. I could feel where her foot was, feel her move her knees (even when it sometimes hurt and my tummy literally looked like a scene from Aliens). I could feel her hiccup inside which can last for an hour. I could feel her raising her arm because I suddenly felt like peeing. I could really feel her physically and the pain and discomfort always go away.

lace off-shouldered tiered dress, Best Finds Thrift Shop | necklaces and rings, Forever21 and vintage finds

“maternity session at 36 weeks” photography, Marlon Capuyan | hair & make-up, Vanessa Gamus

oozing with 90’s goodness

i’ve had this blazer for a while but never had the chance to photograph it til’ now. i love that it’s linen so it’s not too warm and that it oozes with 90’s goodness because it’s over-sized, shoulder-padded and has these awesome bronze buttons. just perfectly reminiscent of the original 90210 and Saved by the Bell, huh? would you believe i got this blazer for only PHP 50? That’s $1 for you. i planned to write another thrifting entry following the art of thrifting post i did last year that illustrated when i started thrifting and my experiences that came along with it. i wanted to write about good spot for thrifting or ukay-ukay here in Cebu but decided against it. after all, even if everyone does it nowadays, there are still those secret spots we’d like to call our own. if you do want to really know, hit me up with an e-mail and i might just tell you. ♥ ♥ ♥

speaking of the 90’s, don’t you miss the original X-MEN and ninja turtles series with the deliciously sketched characters? i don’t know about you but nothing beats the good ol’ cartoons. the digital version of X-MEN right now just doesn’t do it for me — just lacked details and color depth. just saying. LOL.

and ooh, i’m brewing up a giveaway for all of you, especially my 900+ Facebook followers. thank you is not enough to tell you how grateful i am for continuing to follow my blah blahs. wait for it. i might post the giveaway on Sunday! ♥

navy blue linen blazer – thrifted

leopard-printed chiffon dress – bangkok find

brown studded wedge booties – shopyapi.com

studded bucket bag – bangkok find

rings: turtle connector – shopyapi.com | armor ring & skull ring – carbon finds

necklaces: elephant tusk – bangkok find | angel wing – DIY

drunken, foolish and vain: Friendster days

[WARNING: really photo heavy. you can go back if you want. that way i’ll be saved from embarrassment too. haha!]

great panic surged everyone on April 26, 2011 when it was reported that Friendster will be deleting all data and users by May 31, 2011. my Facebook friends immediately downloaded the images they had there. some of us were reminiscing the good ol’ testimonial feature that they had. i’ve owned an account since 2003 but i deleted it last year. i can’t, however, help but remember the funny, foolish and drunken days that my old Friendster account held. so following Aisa’s footsteps, here’s a look back at the old Friendster days:

this was at a bar in Ayala (i can’t remember the name) and was taken on New Year’s Eve. oooh i love this skirt. i wonder where it is now. and oh, the beret is an ode to my old hip-hop days.LOL.

lorymer villareal and me in 2004, styling and coordinating the pageant for the Computer Engineering department. lorymer didn’t go to our school then but he was kind enough to help me with the pageant.

the tres marias. my sisters and i at the resthouse in Daanbantayan that we frequent every summer. this was in 2004.

i told you i was gangsta! LOL. now i can’t help but laugh at my humongous rock and corn rows. the corn rows happened on the night before a flag football game and were done by a friend, in their boarding house.

and then i’m all out rock! LOL again. my friends, kim, deanne and i goofing off while waiting for classes. now that i remember it, we were always waiting for classes then. especially when we were almost graduating.

richard, me, armand and my little sister, aimee. we were waiting for the rest of our friends at Starmart, Banilad (the place to be! LOL) for our Daanbantayan trip.

my old singing days. i wish i learned how to play a guitar so that i can still do gigs. *sigh* (ps. due to being under the sun for most parts of my weekends, i saw dark as beautiful until i realized i could easily get skin cancer.)

so down with jennifer lopez! this vest was thrifted at only PHP 15.00 in our local market. i still have it after 6 years. the shoes? pointed to the pointiest. this pair was my favorite pumps.

my first job after graduating and my first set of friends after of school. incidentally, we all had the same knack for laughing, embarrassing each other and just whiling our lunch making our brains smaller. *korean peace sign*

drunken nights at the back of my friend, Ingrid’s pick-up truck. rides at the back are best done when drunk! we were on our way to the beach at 3AM, after hitting a local bar and i can’t remember this photo was taken. they say, i peed at the side of a dark street. i didn’t believe them until i saw the photo. but nuh-uh, you’re not seeing it. LOL.

karen and i on christmas 2006. we were looking for a pair of shorts to give our guy friends and we found this pair!

the day i brought Cooper, our golden retriever, to a game. i HEART you, Cooper!

goofy face time with my nieces! this was on the summer of 2007.

stacey. my first car that i inherited from my dad. my training car. my bump car. i miss you, Stacey. wish i didn’t have to sell you.

at my friend’s sister’s black and white party. as you can see, i’ve had a knack for polka dots even way back. this was taken on June 2007.

the defensive line waiting for our turn. flag football will always have a place in my heart.

aimee and i pretending to frolick in Malapascua in July 2007. our big sister was taking our photos so we pretended to walk and run around. but no, my love for her is not pretend.

the injured drunkard. this was taken almost a week after my sports accident. i was in denial that my knee injury was serious so i went with my team to Bantayan island and braved the 3-hour land trip and ferry ride, in crutches! when i got back home, i learned i could never play football again — i tore a ligament on my right knee and it required surgery. :,(

this night was when Harry met Yapi. i don’t usually go to office parties but was forced by my friends to because i just shunned Harry a few days back as i was too insensitive to notice he was making a move on me. one of the nights that i will never, ever regret!

my second Etelecare team. these guys are goofballs and pains in the ass but i loved and coached them to death to be better performers.

christmas day 2007. i was heart broken, losing hope and drunk (yet again). my friends and i drove to gas station in the north reclamation area, bought a few bottles of beer and goofed off on the street. i remember drunk crying on this night too. *hush*

Vudu party on new year of 2008. this is the last time my sister Aimee and I, together with our friends, attended the open bar new year’s party at Vudu. the red dress started my polka-only new years too.

my first time in Boracay on February 2008. i haven’t been back yet and i plan to do so this year. is it just me or is the sand in Boracay really annoying? it’s sugary fine that no matter how you wash off, they stick to your body until you get back home. it settles into uncomfortable areas too. haha!

the last time my old flag football team, Dark Angels, got together before i officially retired (after my injury) and dived deep into work. one of the best times of my life.

trues humbly united gather souls. my best friends in the whole world. we have been friends for more than a decade and i’m so lucky to have them. this was taken on September of 2008.

the crazy Vonage retention parties. a retention account is crazy hell but the same effort we put into working hard, the same effort we put in partying. as they say, work hard, party even harder!

my family on the New Year of 2009. one of my last Friendster photos. hello Facebook!

so there you go. i have tons of photos in my disk drive but i wouldn’t want to bore you. it was weird and awesome browing through old photos. i had to delete a few to officially erase the foolishness but one thing i realized from browsing through them is that life should have no regrets. i’ve always had the Meet Joe Black line as my motto: ‘run the risk…if you haven’t tried, you haven’t live” and i can tell, i have lived!

[NOTE: photos were taken using camera phones, my sister’s trusty old canon ixus or armand’s old DSLR.]

finally, the trouser gods heard me

i have always loathed trousers and non-denim pants not because i don’t like them as a piece of clothing for others but because it’s very hard to find a good pair that fits my oddly shaped body. in college, we had the option to wear pencil skirts or pants for our uniform. even when i was studying engineering and surrounded by guys, i opted for the pencil skirt because it was easier to wear. to bluntly say, the thing i hated the most about pants was how my crotch ate them. LOL. not to mention that my ass is huge and the pants accentuated it further, making it more embarrassing for me to wear them. when i hit the corporate world, others stocked up on slacks while i stocked up on button-up shirt dresses and more skirts. i never purposely scoured malls or department stores for those classic slacks and would only purchase one whenever i luckily find something at the thrift shop.

so you can imagine my delight when i tried on this pair of trousers. the crotch is not fitted, the pleats on the waist line makes for a forgiving shape and i just absolutely love that it’s made in linen which makes it oh so comfortable. in Bangkok, most shops only sell wholesale so you need to buy 3 items to get a good price. you can definitely guess that i bought 3 pairs of these in different colors. and oh, one awesome thing about this outfit — i finally got to wear my cape-like crocheted top. ♥

you’re asking about the necklace? oh that! it was a Forever 21 gift from Sweet of pens and lens when we met up in Bangkok. we were supposed to meet up in Forever 21 so she can finally buy me the pair of shoes as my prize on her last Fashion Stylist contest. unfortunately, they pulled out most of their stocks and didn’t have any size for me.so i’d have to wait for my new pair.

ps. i know i’ve been gone way too long. left for the Bangkok trip on February 24 and was so excited to get back and make a new post only to find out our internet hasn’t been working for days. it still isn’t and this is just one of those lucky nights that it is. i’m sneaking in commenting back on your blogs at work. *hush, don’t tell my boss*

black crocheted cape-like top – thrifted

black linen pleated trousers – Bangkok find

nude top used underneath – random

black heels – Forever 21

rhinestone & gold bohemian necklace – gifted from Sweet

stacks of bangles – carbon finds

bohemian armor ring | bow ring | snake ring – carbon finds

You can find some great Superdry designer wear at Very.co.uk as well as plenty of other designer gear. Check out the website now by visiting www.very.co.uk.

regrets over ample coverage

i don’t have too many regrets in life. sometimes i wonder what if, especially for unfortunate events like a falling out with a best friend or a tragic accident but i manage to brush them off, comforting in the thought that everything happens for a reason. one thing i do regret though is cutting off all of my maxi skirts for shorter ones to wear for the super sunny days here in our country and when i say sunny, i mean really really scorching hot. coincidentally, just as the weather here in the Philippines is getting a tad colder and i’m longing for my maxi skirts, the long garment has also graced a number of runways for fall/winter 2010. i have always loved the bohemian and feminine feel of maxi skirts. it gives me a reason to be lady-like but still be allowed to tuck a part of it in when i sit down, just like how we used to do in high school. those girls who went to an all-girl catholic school, admit it, we were taught social graces in classes but in classrooms when the teachers are not around, we sometimes sit with our legs apart or tuck in our skirts in between them. haha!

yellow floral-printed maxi dress – props

black cardigan – thrifted

black beaded sandals – people are people

brown bag – chatuchak, bangkok

long necklaces – carbon finds

rings: rectangle jewel stones – carbon find | round white stone – props

bangles – chatuchak, bangkok

a thousand years ago (in college actually), i made a maxi skirt out of a pair of denim jeans. it took a seventeen magazine DIY, a pair of strong scissors, a huge-ass needle and all the free time in the world. this is the end result. please excuse the scruffy face of a chinky-eyed morena who doesn’t know how to smile then. paired my denim maxi skirt with a pair of chuck taylors, a black studded belt, simple black tee and the used-to-be amazing hoop earrings. i was ghetto back then okay? LOL.

anyway, there’s two more days left for the 300 followers giveaway — a chance for you to win a denim acid-wash polka dress and a pair of multi-colored stone earrings. enter here!

juvenile and loving it

everytime i think of the arcade, i remember high school. the days when we didn’t own cellphones and when my friends and i meet each other at the mall, we’d have to stay put and wait at the agreed spot because if you leave, you will get lost. the meeting place was always timezone, national bookstore or haha, i hate to say this but ‘blue magic…’ LOL. (for those who grew up in cebu city during the late 1990’s — 1997 to 2000, you know what i mean!) those were the days when all we have is P50 in our pockets and all we do in the mall is eat a couple of snacks (mcdonald’s fries or ice cream) and follow our crushes around. no, not follow but stalk! line up at photo booths and have our pictures taken, wait for 2 hours for it to get developed so we stalk our crushes again! oh, take me back to high school where life was simple.

ps. will be going back to daanbantayan this weekend so i will see you guys this monday when we get back…in my last attempt to gather in the rays and soak in salt water. this is for april’s post-nuptial trash-the-dress shoot!

polka top – thrifted (my mom’s)

folded denim shorts – props

navy blue flats with rhinestones – parisian

thin white belt – random

white bag – mongkok ladies’ market, hk

rings: black oval – props, square stone ring – random

gun-metal silver bangles – props | random

200 followers give-away WINNER! + what i miss most

congratulations to catherine of hellocatherine! for winning my 200 followers give-away!

to all those who joined, thank you so much for your support! it’s been a ball having you guys as my readers. i hope that you will all still continue to enjoy reading my blog — if not for the outfits, maybe for my stories and thoughts.

on another note, i just had my check-up with my orthopedic yesterday and it turns out that i might have a herniated disc — which means my spinal disc has become less elastic and has been pushed outside of the vertebrae so the nerves and spinal cord gets pinched. it’s mostly caused by bad posture and the wrong sleeping position, which i am totally guilty off. at work or here at home, i unconsciously slouch too much in front of the PC and only notice when my face is very much near the keyboard. when i sleep, i lie on my stomach which causes an abnormal shape to the spinal column. i am also very much guilty of reading on my bed while lying on my stomach, which gives immense pressure to my back and shoulders. my treatment for now is to swim a few laps at least once a week. i cannot do extreme workouts anymore because i injured my right knee playing flag football almost 3 years ago.

yes, i was a football player. i played flag football for 4 years before i got injured (ACL). i played defensive line and i was pretty good at it! my heart got broken so bad when i found out i couldn’t play anymore. in my november 6th post, i even thought i only had a torn meniscus as this was the initial finding of the doctor. after i got an MRI, i soon found out that i had it worst and had my ligament torn. i had surgery a year after and couldn’t work for a month. had to go to rehab and endured wearing braces for almost 2 months.

(yes, no. 81 was me — the girl with the chocolate colored skin and green socks to match my uniform)

i miss the rush of sports. i miss the hunger for the win. i miss the camaraderie. i missed having another life besides work. i missed loving fashion but still being able to act like tomboy and play hardcore — while i match my headbands to my opponents color to psyche them up..LOL. but you know what? ironically, right when i thought i lost the love of my life which was football, i met harry a month after my injury and we have been inseparable ever since. i guess God does give you everything — just perhaps not at that the same time. *wink*

one thing i dearly miss

it may just be glee’s madonna episode and their rendition of ‘what it feels like for a girl’ or that the last time i performed was 2 years ago at outpost for a company christmas party… BUT i miss singing so much. it used to be my outlet for feelings i can’t express….for desperation on unrequited love…for the confusion i felt as a teen…sometimes for the anger… the rush of standing in front of people was inexplicable.

both my mom and dad worked when i was young. so when school was out, my dad would bring me to his clinic and just leave me beside the stereo and he would find me there all day, singing. as a kid, i’d either be singing or drawing on my sketchpad or doing both. sometimes i’m not aware of it, but i’d turn up the volume on our old boom box and just play madonna, lisa loeb or jewel all day and just sing. and yes, i used to sing a lot of jennifer love hewitt songs too.

i miss just belting out in my room.

i miss practicing songs in our house and singing renditions of songs i loved.

i miss the feeling of freedom singing gives to me.

i miss just having fun singing with people.

now if only i can find someone to play the guitar for me.

(photo details: all tanned (too tan actually..LOL) singing at kahayag in 2006)

the beach that’s a block away

this is only one of a few things that i’ll miss this holy week. this holy week, aside from attending church, i’d rather be:

in sindangan zamboanga del norte, in my mom’s hometown, to enjoy the provincial life — eating diwit and mangoes with bagoong (spicy shrimp paste), binignit. listening to michael buble, diana krall and nora jones while reading a book. walking to the beach to watch the most beautiful sunset. thrifting on the plaza (town park) displays and in the local market. eating grilled oysters while decorating the carro for jesus’ resurrection. laughing my heart out with mom, aunts, uncles and cousins. taking a side-trip to dumaguete and walk in the boulevard for a bit while eating street food — tempura and balot.

watch a tele-marathon with my little sister while munching on popcorn and ngohiong. this is from days of watching seventh heaven marathons from holy thursday to black saturday with my little sister. waking up whenever i want to. visiting 7 churches with my sister and dad on holy thursday or good friday.

or be in bantayan island and be a beach bum for four whole days. sleep in a tent amidst all the other beach bums. line up for an outdoor shower and brush my teeth on a deep well. sleep with sand on our toes. eat chicken as hard to eat as rubber. stare at the stars in the darkness after dinner. wash my hands with seawater. rent a motorcycle and tour the island. apply henna tattoo due to boredom in the afternoons. go home unrecognizable by my dad because i have gone too dark with extreme sunburn. LOL.

instead

i am working my ass off this black saturday. working on a weekend. and holy week at that. damn.

black star-printed dress – thrifted

thin white belt – props

white studded flats – so fab (a gift from lil’ sis)

black over-sized bag – mom’s

black star twined necklace – props

blue sunnies – thrifted at carbon

prim and proper

our grandma has always trained us to dress up for church and on sundays. i remember her standing by the door in our house in the province, waiting to see what we’re wearing. it has to be appropriate — like, it has to have sleeves and the length of the skirt has to be knee-length. it’s not that she was strict about clothes in general — i mean, our mom used to have mini-mod dresses in the 60’s and 70’s and that got my dad hooked..LOL. but sundays were always an exception. so even when we got back to the city, i remember me and my sisters taking our time preparing for church because we always had to look appropriate and presentable. sundays, as a kid, was always a dress-up day. and my favorite was my peach chiffon dress with a matching brim hat.

this was taken last sunday after church and on the way to get a massage at one of our favorite spas here — nuat thai at mabolo. not only is their services good, they have really good interiors too and very affordable — a body massage is at P150 – P250 ($3.00 – $5.00). please don’t mind my disheveled look. it is indeed obvious that i need to relax and unwind. i can assure you i was deeply relaxed after the 45 minute foot massage and 1 hour swedish body massage…felt so good!

grey dress – miu miu (thrifted!)

zebra print bow flats – parisian

black oversized bag – my mom’s

long watch necklace – hk gift shop

the ‘barla’ incident

photos (from top clockwise): me, the barlas, mom and gianne frances, me and my cousins – cookie and lilac, mom and dad, my robot necklace

family will always come first for me. when all else fails and the rest of the world abandons me, i can count on my family to be right behind — waiting to catch me.

last sunday was the christening of my cousin’s baby girl — gianne frances. and i was one of her godmothers. that means more gifts to buy by christmas…haha! i was happy to have spent time with my cousins, especially my favorite cousin, lilac (on the 3rd picture). our age difference is almost 15 years but we just think alike. they call us ‘the barlas‘ after this long, black and bony fish.

why barla? well, every holy week, we go home to our province in zamboanga del norte and spend time at my grandparent’s house. we take care of the easter breakfast for the church and the ‘carro’ of jesus on his resurrection. while in there, we mostly eat fish for fasting. our late lola (grandma) used to buy this fish called ‘diwit‘ which is so yummy. the ‘diwit‘ is a long and flat fish. one summer, my cousin and i volunteered to shop at the market for dinner. we were so excited to have found ‘diwit‘ at such a cheap price — P60 per kilo. we immediately bought it and were so proud of ourselves. we even bought sweet mangoes for dessert. when we got home, we were scolded by our moms because what we bought is not ‘diwit‘ but barla! they look the same — same shape and length but the barla has almost black scales. the barla is sooo bony that we can barely eat any meat on it. we became the laughing stock of the whole holy week and our relatives couldn’t stop joking about it. LOL.

what about you? tell me of a family blooper you experienced.

striped dress – thrifted | long navy blue top – thrifted | suede belt – big sister’s |

suede brown wedges with rhinestone details – celine (mom’s gift) | faux monogram bag – thrifted | robot long necklace – APM | bangles – gifts

don’t forget to join my 100 followers give-away!

| for the love of accessories |