maternity diary: labor day

When you reach the 38th week, you’re okay to give birth as the baby has fully developed. Although for first pregnancies, you’re advised that child birth would be 2 weeks before or after the 40th week mark, I wanted to give birth as soon as I hit 38th because 1) It was already exhausting and I had to catch my breath every time I move, 2) We were too excited to meet Maddy, 3) Harry is 5’11” and I’m only 5’2″ so that means the longer Maddy stays inside, the bigger she will get and my body (and tummy) is too small for her. Even when every parent prays to have a safe delivery, ideally, it is best to give birth normally and not have to go through a C-section. That was the goal that we set with our OB. We also prayed to have a quick labor. After all, who wants to spend too much time panting and being in pain, right?

Welp, Maddy had different plans. I started having contractions a few days after my 38th week mark, in the middle of preparing decors for my April 22 wedding. We went to the E.R. that same afternoon but was told to go back because I was only dilating at 1cm. We thought it would be quick, to be honest. Like in the movies where they begin having contractions, get rushed to the hospital and tada! a baby! But I reached my 40th week mark and was already overdue for a few days and Maddy still didn’t have plans to come out. Due to my utmost frustration after the doctor told me to come back a week after, Harry and I walked a longer distance right after our doctor’s visit. I took a nap and woke up in pain. My contractions were starting to get painful. This was it! At 5:30PM, we arrived at the hospital and I was placed in the labor room. Maddy could come out at any time!

14 hours later (meaning, it was already 7AM the next day), I was still in the labor room writhing in pain. It was literally the most physically painful experience I ever had in my life! More painful than when I tore my right knee ligament, more painful than when my cervical slip disc worsened, more painful than when my heart got broken in college (LOL!). It was 10x more excruciating than my usually painful menstrual cramps. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that I felt like I was dying. Really! I was being a baby when they finally brought me to the delivery room at almost 10AM and I kept begging my anesthesiologist to give me more epidural. So I pushed for 3 more hours until the doctor said the words we dreaded, “I would have to do a c-section.” Maddy was just not coming out and I was no longer dilating at more than 8cm.

At 3:59PM, after 22 hours of labor, Madison Rue was born. ♥ I kissed her forehead before falling asleep and what they say is really true, no matter how painful your labor was, everything just fades and is easily forgotten the very moment you hear your baby cry or you set sight on the baby’s beautiful eyes or feel their soft skin. It was very true for me. 22 hours just faded when I saw my sweet Madison Rue. She is worth the pain. ♥

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blue lace maxi dress, Best Finds Thrift Shop | necklaces and rings, Forever21 and vintage finds

“maternity session at 36 weeks” photography, Marlon Capuyan | hair & make-up, Vanessa Gamus