maternity session – Girl Gone Cuckoo

maternity diary: labor day

When you reach the 38th week, you’re okay to give birth as the baby has fully developed. Although for first pregnancies, you’re advised that child birth would be 2 weeks before or after the 40th week mark, I wanted to give birth as soon as I hit 38th because 1) It was already exhausting and I had to catch my breath every time I move, 2) We were too excited to meet Maddy, 3) Harry is 5’11” and I’m only 5’2″ so that means the longer Maddy stays inside, the bigger she will get and my body (and tummy) is too small for her. Even when every parent prays to have a safe delivery, ideally, it is best to give birth normally and not have to go through a C-section. That was the goal that we set with our OB. We also prayed to have a quick labor. After all, who wants to spend too much time panting and being in pain, right?

Welp, Maddy had different plans. I started having contractions a few days after my 38th week mark, in the middle of preparing decors for my April 22 wedding. We went to the E.R. that same afternoon but was told to go back because I was only dilating at 1cm. We thought it would be quick, to be honest. Like in the movies where they begin having contractions, get rushed to the hospital and tada! a baby! But I reached my 40th week mark and was already overdue for a few days and Maddy still didn’t have plans to come out. Due to my utmost frustration after the doctor told me to come back a week after, Harry and I walked a longer distance right after our doctor’s visit. I took a nap and woke up in pain. My contractions were starting to get painful. This was it! At 5:30PM, we arrived at the hospital and I was placed in the labor room. Maddy could come out at any time!

14 hours later (meaning, it was already 7AM the next day), I was still in the labor room writhing in pain. It was literally the most physically painful experience I ever had in my life! More painful than when I tore my right knee ligament, more painful than when my cervical slip disc worsened, more painful than when my heart got broken in college (LOL!). It was 10x more excruciating than my usually painful menstrual cramps. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that I felt like I was dying. Really! I was being a baby when they finally brought me to the delivery room at almost 10AM and I kept begging my anesthesiologist to give me more epidural. So I pushed for 3 more hours until the doctor said the words we dreaded, “I would have to do a c-section.” Maddy was just not coming out and I was no longer dilating at more than 8cm.

At 3:59PM, after 22 hours of labor, Madison Rue was born. ♥ I kissed her forehead before falling asleep and what they say is really true, no matter how painful your labor was, everything just fades and is easily forgotten the very moment you hear your baby cry or you set sight on the baby’s beautiful eyes or feel their soft skin. It was very true for me. 22 hours just faded when I saw my sweet Madison Rue. She is worth the pain. ♥

blue lace maxi dress, Best Finds Thrift Shop | necklaces and rings, Forever21 and vintage finds

“maternity session at 36 weeks” photography, Marlon Capuyan | hair & make-up, Vanessa Gamus

maternity diary: the last stretch

at this point of my pregnancy, i can finally say that I know how penguins walk. i no longer walked actually, i waddled. tummy first, then right foot and left foot, repeat. my tummy suddenly grew and i was out of breath most of the time. i remember telling my friends Rachael and Amy, “I’m not sure I’ll remember how to walk normally.” LOL

for most pregnant women, the 3rd trimester is the time where most weight is gained and it sure was true for me. all throughout my pregnancy, i gained a total of 18 lbs, most of which i gained during the last 3 months. so for pregnant ladies out there, this is the time to especially watch what you eat. with all the discomfort, it’s very easy to get tempted by comfort food and sweets just to compensate for the difficulty of the last months. i myself am guilty of doing so — Coca-Cola was just so, so, so good especially with lots of ice.

everywhere I went, it was warm and uncomfortable, especially when riding in our car — not just because it’s old but my body was being a walking oven 24/7. even my assistant, Amalia, wouldn’t touch me because i was just too warm. so another tip: stock up on baby powder, especially at night. it helps with the discomfort and wear cotton, thin cotton when going out. sometimes, I fall asleep from the warmth in the afternoon, too tired to care.

the last month is also the time when sleeping gets harder. as it turns out, babies tend to sleep during the day while the mommy is on the move because they feel like being cradled inside and once we’re in bed trying to sleep, that’s the time they wake up and start moving. so yeah, Maddy was a night owl (a cute night owl!) and would keep me up all night, kicking and moving inside my tummy until 4AM. but you know what? even when Maddy kept me awake, the last month was the best because i could really feel her. I could feel where her foot was, feel her move her knees (even when it sometimes hurt and my tummy literally looked like a scene from Aliens). I could feel her hiccup inside which can last for an hour. I could feel her raising her arm because I suddenly felt like peeing. I could really feel her physically and the pain and discomfort always go away.

lace off-shouldered tiered dress, Best Finds Thrift Shop | necklaces and rings, Forever21 and vintage finds

“maternity session at 36 weeks” photography, Marlon Capuyan | hair & make-up, Vanessa Gamus

maternity diary: the 2nd trimester

so I finally surpassed the first 3 months of pregnancy and have reached what they call the “safe zone.” i’m not sure though because i still continue to worry. my tummy has become bigger and the bulge is showing a bit but our little pumpkin was still so little that i couldn’t feel her yet, couldn’t physically know she’s inside.

one day, as if Maddy wanted to appease me knowing that her mommy is a worry-wart, i felt a small movement that felt like popcorn then a pinch. she kicked with her tiny little feet! i couldn’t believe it — she was really in there. it was like she was telling me, “Mommy, I’m here.”

i later found out with delight that Maddy loves the classics. oh how i tried to make her listen to my indie favorites such as Monsters & Men and Mumford & Sons but she much rather preferred the likes of Nat King Cole and Louis Armstrong. ironically though, she’d kick up a storm whenever she’d hear old school hip-hop songs (my songs during the day) like “Drop It Like its Hot.” LOL

Maddy loves it when i sing to her and i use my songs to get her to kick during slow mornings. she’d gladly oblige after a verse or 2 of “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” she also loves it when her papa whispers stories to her (true or just made-up). we were halfway there and we were counting down the days.

printed off-shouldered maxi dress from BFTS | black wide-brimmed felt hat from Cotton On | accesories from various vintage stores & Forever21

“maternity session taken at 35 weeks” | photography by Burtz Rolian of Blinkbox Photos | hair and make-up by Suzaine Christi Smith

maternity diary: the pregnant stylist

I got pregnant but the world didn’t stop for me. Sure, I had to take extra care of myself and people around me were careful with me too, and gave me special attention but I had to continue working — 1) To do what I love and continue to pursue my passion for creating and 2) Because I needed to make a living considering I am a full-time stylist.

Throughout my pregnancy, I was lucky enough to have had stylists wanting to join the team. I had to laugh because God really does put everything into perfect timing. On my 1st trimester, Tara Chua joined Cuckoo Cloud Concepts as my co-stylist then Ephraim Rabanez on the 3rd trimester. I continued conceptualizing photo shoots but Tara or Phraim executed the styling for me, together with my production assistant, Amalia Bautista. I continued to attend all events {weddings} that we had to style and just made sure to sit down whenever I can and lie low on physical activities. Believe it or not, I even flew to Pagadian to style a wedding on the last week of my 1st trimester. A week before I was due to give birth, I attended the last 2 weddings of the month. Whenever I got afraid, I had to remind myself that God won’t give me something I can’t handle.

This post is a tribute to my support system all throughout my pregnancy and even after that. To Tara, Phraim, Amalia, my Uncle Jesan, my amazing mom and dad, my trying-not-to-be-supportive but awesome hubby Harry and now Phil (who just recently joined us as a stylist) and all my event assistants — THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. ♥

silk kimono from BFTS | floral crown by Cuckoo Cloud Concepts

photography by Rainbowfish Photo | hair & make-up by Markie Bautista

maternity diary: the 1st trimester

since we tried to keep my pregnancy hush-hush during the first few months, i haven’t really been able to talk about my pregnancy save for my family and closest friends and co-workers. this will be the first of my maternity diary posts, as a look back to the wonderful and challenging 9 months and also as a tribute to my awesome photographer and artist friends who kindly volunteered for my maternity sessions.

when we found out
to be honest, when we found out, we were flabbergasted. we got depressed when we lost our 1st baby but we didn’t realize how much it affected us until we found out we were pregnant again. our first reaction was joy. the next was deep, deep fear. i remember coming out of our bathroom, giving Harry the pregnancy test and just lying on our bed, stunned. yes, we were utterly happy that we were gifted with a new baby but we were also gravely afraid of losing it again. we couldn’t go through the same thing. it was too painful. luckily enough, we had the support of our family and closest friends who kept encouraging us and never failed to take care of us.

symptoms, cravings and complications
normally, i have a very big appetite. diet is not in my vocabularly because i love to eat but when i got pregnant, i couldn’t stomach most types of food. my love for pizza and pasta disappeared. i hated cheese and all things creamy. i was a very picky eater that it caused me to lose a bit of weight. i would only eat when i needed to. fortunately, i didn’t experience morning sickness. i was only drowsy, as in always sleepy that there were days that i wouldn’t get off the bed nor get out of the room.

the firsts
i realize now that when we first heard Maddy’s heart beat, she was declaring that she’s really going to stay. her heart rate was loud and fast. when we first tried to see her gender, she kicked and moved her legs too much that it was just impossible to really determine her gender. we already knew we were having a rambunctious baby (and she sure is now.) Maddy’s first kick was a jab and i never knew it could hurt. it was surreal and further reminded us that what was happening was real. it was not a dream. we were really having a baby.

white embroiders slip maxi dress – BFTS | layered necklaces – vintage store finds and forever 21

“maternity session taken at 33 weeks pregnant” | hair & make-up by Markie Bautista | photogaphy by Rainbowfish Photo | set design by Cuckoo Cloud Concepts