mondays all throughout the week

poor Monday. everybody hates it. it’s not as if Monday did anything to us. it’s just coincidentally situated after a weekend and is just a strong reminder that we have to go back to work or school. i don’t know when i’ve ever been excited for a Monday. maybe in college when i couldn’t wait to see my crush.

lately though, i’ve been having Mondays all throughout the week. as i look back on my previous posts, this laziness and almost-lethargic state that i’m in started on Christmas break. not only have i been sick with my herniated disc acting up, i’ve been unmotivated to get off my bed. it definitely is not helpful for my suffering salary and work. i’ve been finding myself utterly confused about what to do with my life and whether i should be where i am. one thing i only know is how intent i am to marry Harry this year or by early next year. that’s it and i’m lost with the rest of my life. i discussed this with Harry yesterday after visiting the doctor and he noted that i get like this every year. i pondered on it and realized that i do. i hate to admit it but with the slew of lazy days from Christmas break to summer gets me reflecting and over thinking about my things which leads to unhealthy realizations or nonsensical questions and doubts. gaaah, drama! so i’m soldiering on and just hope to get past August, where things usually start getting okay for me. *praying hard*

anyway, just got back from the doctor yesterday and had my MRI results read. as it turns out, i have a few (yes, not just one but 4) mild bulging discs on my spine which is causing me numbness and pain on my neck, arms and legs because these bulging discs pinch my spine. on my MRI, my spine looks like it has a few ridges because of the bulging discs. aside from that, my MRI showed that this bulging discs are also degenerating — something that’s not supposed to happen until i’m in my 60’s. oh well, that’s what i get for working night shifts for 5 years, sitting in front of the computer for hours on end and playing flag football for 4 years from sleepless nights.

white graphic tee – bangkok find
cream pleated trousers – shopyapi.com
camel strappy heels – forever 21
camel braided belt – shopyapi.com
fringe tassel earrings – DIY

shopyapi.com is on sale with selected items at 10% – 20% off! check it out now!

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feeling the pain | health karma


i feel bad for having been a terrible blogger the past few days. i’ve failed to get back on your comments and post new outfit shots too. the goal when i started this blog more than a year a go was not just to share my personal style but also to connect with other stylistas in the world. of course, i’ve achieved that having met amazing people over time but communication is a two-way street and i wouldn’t want to be the one to start disconnecting. 

but aside from being busy with my day job and with my shop (www.shopyapi.com), i’ve been sick — again! i feel like the most incompetent employee right now because i’ve missed two days of work. my herniated disc is acting up again, causing pain on my neck and head. i can’t support my head for too long without leaning on the chair or lying down. two weeks ago, i experienced terrible stomach pains due to something i ate and with succeeding illnesses i’ve gotten, my mom commented that she feels like she’s taking care of an old lady. AN OLD LADY? oh my. i look back over the 26 years of my life and realized that i have abused my body severely over the years — since high school, i’ve only had an average of 4-5 hours of sleep everyday then there’s heavy drinking in college, working and going to school a year before graduation, working night shifts for 5 years while playing flag football every weekend then drinking till dawn every after practice or game. i’ve pushed myself to the limits and this is what i get. a seemingly strong and muscular body on the outside but so fragile on the inside. 

i may sound like an old lady when i say this but WE SHOULD ALL TAKE BETTER CARE OF OURSELVES. seriously. ♥

take care everyone! have a great weekend!

sheer printed chiffon skirt – thrifted
white tank top – random
peach cardigan – mom’s closet
beige suede wedges – gold dot
yellow braided belt – shopyapi.com
angel wings necklace – carbon find

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