lemon and turquoise striped top with sequined pocket – primal rave | skinny jeans – thrifted | pink and gun-metal wedge sandals – people are people | blue satchel – primal rave | powder blue feather earrings – downtown find
last week i officially bid goodbye to a life i thought i wanted. i may sound like a broken record because i did do the same two years ago.
two years ago though when i decided to leave to pursue my dreams, i really wasn’t sure what i wanted to do, not even sure if i really knew what my dreams were. it was done on a whim — that i just needed to get out of there. all i knew at that time was that i wanted to pursue fashion but was still very lost. no wonder i ended up lying awake at night, feeling very scared.
i spent a year working for my sister and spiraled downwards by leaving that job too and taking a home-based online job which made me even unhappier. my sister saw me and said, “straighten up your life.” a friend reminded me, “i thought you wanted to pursue management.” so i got even more scared and went back to what was comfortable (and what earned me more money).
at the end of the day though, everything felt redundant and soon very frustrating. i am a perfectionist by nature so i try to excel at everything i do but it doesn’t necessarily mean that i loved what i am doing. i gave this life another chance but it’s just not for me.
this time, i have more clarity. if things don’t seem clear though, i just have faith. and i am very lucky to have the support of my family and friends. this time, i may have gone cuckoo but i am happy. cuckoos may not have new shoes every month but walking is lighter.