on hope

all of us are in denial. at least i recognize that i am. i am here for him not because i am pretending to be his friend because hey, i really am. but in saying that i am no longer hoping, then you can call me a liar. hope is all i have now. and it’s hard because while i’m hoping for him, he’s still hoping for another.

he’s been silent. i can tell that he’s thinking about other things. he’s thinking about her. and i look ahead and feel nothing. at least, pretend that i feel nothing. if only i can make him smile. if only i know how to make him laugh again. but the only thing i can do is assure him i’m here.

although i have managed to forget that there was a point that we did try to make things work, it’s hard sometimes to forget how wonderful those days were.

i am still hoping. i am hoping on a lot of things. one of those is for him to let her go and realize that i am here. i don’t want to be a damn statistic but i guess i am. what the hell, he made me smile.

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